For those of us who prefer the chart, here is the Alice Class from A Red & Pleasant Land in chart form, Enjoy!
PDF

Monday, October 14, 2019
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Mysteries of Grand Tartaria
A mythical
empire located in northern and central Asia stretching eastwards from the
Caspian Sea and the Ural Mountains to the Pacific Ocean. Inhabited by an
Aryan-Turkic, multi-religious, multi-ethnic culture found throughout Asia, and
parts of Europe. Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, and others live in peace in Tartaria;
it is the law of equality.
They speak their
own language called Tartarian. Their kings are called Khans and they follow an
Emperor. They are master horse-lords and are advanced in architecture. The
culture seems a mix of Russian, Indian, Chinese, Mongolian, etc.
There are
Tartarian Giants in some remote regions, as well as rumors of polar entrances
to an Inner Earth. Their own scholars believe they inherited their knowledge
from an ancient race from the Inner Earth, the Draugur, also called Dwarves. In
Tartaria myth and legends meet reality.
1220’s.
Prester John, a Christian King from India, fails to defeat the Tartarian Khan.
1387 – 1400.
The Canterbury Tales mentions “the Royal Court of Tartary”, as well as many
other writers and scholars over the years, such as Marco Polo, William
Shakespeare, and others.
1552. Ivan
the Terrible sacks Kazan. Using canons he blew up the city wall and then
stormed in. Other major khanates on Moscovia’s border fell; the Tartarians fell
from the European political arena.
1598.
On maps, the Duchy of Russia is distinct from Grand Tartaria, and not mentioned
as an empire.
1623.
At this time Tartary is a world-known Empire, challenged by Russia.
1775.
Finally conquered by Russia.
1809.
Tartaria’s flag and standard show up in a US Navy listing of all the countries
of the world. After that, all mention of Tartary is ridiculed as fable. Cartographers
stop putting it on maps. Tartary, its cultures, and history, are fully erased
from history by Russian scholars. Large sections are given over to China and
the Middle East, new counties like Mongolia and Kazakhstan are formed and the
rest becomes Russian Siberia.
Scouting Party from Tartaria
Capt. Kublai,
Tartarian soldier, Lawful. Con +1, Dex -1, Str +1
Armor 16, Move 90ft,
1st Level Fighter, 9hp,
+3 attack, Longsword
1d8, Spear 1d6, Morale 10.
Chain, helm,
longsword, spear, horse & saddle.
Battul the Giant,
Tartarian Giant, Muslim, Lawful. Con +1, Dex +1, Int -1, Str +2, Wis -1
Armor 18, Move 90ft,
0 Level Half-Giant, 11hp,
+2 attack Great
Sword 1d10, +1 Spear 1d8, Morale 10.
Chain armor,
helm, great sword, spear, Clydesdale & saddle.
Gombo,
Tartarian soldier, Buddhist, Lawful. Con +1
Armor 15/16,
Move 90ft, 0 Level Fighter, 5hp,
Spear 1d6,
Morale 9.
Leather, shield,
helm, spear, horse & saddle.
Sargan,
Tartarian soldier, Lawful. Cha -1, Con +1, Str +3, Wis -1
Armor 17/18,
Move 90ft, 0 Level Fighter, 6hp,
+3 attack, Spear
1d6, Morale 9.
Chain armor,
shield, helm, longsword, horse & saddle.
Friday, October 4, 2019
Sasquatch
Found in the deep forests of the New World are the hairy, wild men, known by the natives as Sasquatch. They are large, muscular, bipedal human-like creatures, roughly 6–9 feet tall, covered in hair of black, dark brown, or dark reddish.
They speak a strange garbled tongue, are often accompanied by a horrid stench, and sometimes abscond with livestock or children.

Armor 15
Move 150’/50’
5 Hit Dice, 19hp
2 fists, 2d4 damage each. Boulder 2d8 damage, 50 ft.
Morale: 6 in the wild, 11 when defending itself or its lair.
If both hands hit, crushes for an additional 4d6 points of damage.
Climb 4, Search 3, Stealth 4
Wild Child (Juvenile Squatch)
Armor 13
Move 140’, 45’
3 Hit Dice, 10hp
2 fists, 1d4 damage each. Rocks 1d8 damage, 40 ft.
Morale 6: in the wild, 11 when defending itself or its lair.
If both hands hit, crushes for an additional 2d6 points of damage.
Climb 3, Search 2, Stealth 3
Sasquatch Shaman
Armor 15
Move 150’, 50’
5 Hit Dice, 19hp
2 fists, 2d4 damage each
Morale 6: in the wild, 11 when defending itself or its lair.
If both hands hit, crushes for an additional 4d6 points of damage.
Bushcraft 2, Climb 2, Search 2, Stealth 2
Weird Spellcasting: 6 slots/Shadow Monsters, Speak with Animals, Spell Turning, Stinking Cloud, Veil, Wall of Fog.
They speak a strange garbled tongue, are often accompanied by a horrid stench, and sometimes abscond with livestock or children.

Armor 15
Move 150’/50’
5 Hit Dice, 19hp
2 fists, 2d4 damage each. Boulder 2d8 damage, 50 ft.
Morale: 6 in the wild, 11 when defending itself or its lair.
If both hands hit, crushes for an additional 4d6 points of damage.
Climb 4, Search 3, Stealth 4
Wild Child (Juvenile Squatch)
Armor 13
Move 140’, 45’
3 Hit Dice, 10hp
2 fists, 1d4 damage each. Rocks 1d8 damage, 40 ft.
Morale 6: in the wild, 11 when defending itself or its lair.
If both hands hit, crushes for an additional 2d6 points of damage.
Climb 3, Search 2, Stealth 3
Sasquatch Shaman
Armor 15
Move 150’, 50’
5 Hit Dice, 19hp
2 fists, 2d4 damage each
Morale 6: in the wild, 11 when defending itself or its lair.
If both hands hit, crushes for an additional 4d6 points of damage.
Bushcraft 2, Climb 2, Search 2, Stealth 2
Weird Spellcasting: 6 slots/Shadow Monsters, Speak with Animals, Spell Turning, Stinking Cloud, Veil, Wall of Fog.
Saturday, September 14, 2019
Weird Magic Spell List
If you're using the Weird Magic System from Vaginas are Magic or Eldritch Cock, spells have no level, so here is a handy list of all spells from Rules & Magic, and all the new ones.
Weird Magic Spell List
Enjoy!
Weird Magic Spell List
Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Cannibals
17th century maps mark places thought to be infested with Cannibals, especially in unexplored parts of South America.
I reskinned some Pygmies from Blood in the Chocolate to be Cannibals for my home game. Enjoy!
Cannibals: Armour 13, Move 20’, 1 Hit Dice, 5hp, attack with spear 1d6 damage, stone club 1d6 damage or blow gun for 1 damage +poison (see below), Morale 8. A cannibal can see in the dark.
Carries a war shield.
Paralytic Poison: When a character is hit with a blow gun attack they
must make a saving throw versus Paralyzation. Failure causes their legs and limbs
to stiffen. They become completely rigid and unable to move for 1d4×5 minutes.
Cannibal Chieftain: Armour 13,
Magic-User Level 4, Move 5’, 4 Hit Dice, 24hp, attack with spear 1d6 damage, stone club 1d6 damage, Morale 8. He can cast one of each spell below:
• 1st level:
Charm Person, Feather Fall, Sleep, Spider Climb.
• 2nd level:
Levitate, Web.
Carries a war shield.
Carries a war shield.
They will seek
to capture, and eat later.
Friday, August 9, 2019
Physik Skill for LotFP
Physik Skill
Physik skill is a kind of first aid roll, if the roll succeeds the patient heals +1d3 hp. May be
used once per wound. Can also be used to stabilize a dying character, or as a
knowledge check for medicine or human anatomy, etc.
Modifiers may be added for
certain conditions such as being in the field (-1), or in the middle of battle
(-2). Having a doctor’s bag (the equivalent of Specialist’s Tools) adds +1,
being in a clean environment with food, water, clean bandages, and proper tools
adds +2. This would be unlikely in the 17th century.
This skill has the possibility of
harming the patient just as much as healing them. Very little was known about
hygiene in 17th-century England. People were not aware that disease was spread
by germs and infectious diseases were a serious concern. The only available treatments were bloodletting, leeches, purges, calomel
(a tincture of mercury), opium, and quinine.
When you roll the Physik skill, on a roll of 6 (or 12 if you’re 6/6) something has gone terribly wrong.
Malpractice Roll
1d6
1 – Patient loses 1hp.
2 – Patient loses 1d3 hp.
3 – Patient develops severe fever
over the next few hours, Poison save or lose 1 Con.
4 – Patient’s condition worsens
over the next few days, Poison save or lose 1d3 Con.
5 – Severe infection leading to
amputation, possibly losing more Con and Dex.
6 – Doctor has killed the
patient.
Thursday, August 8, 2019
The Plague Doctor
Plague
Doctor
A Plague Doctor may be a traveling doctor, a snake oil salesman, or an honest man of science, but the sight of him is a dreadful thing, for that means plague is near. God forbid you ever need one.
Armor 15 (leather, high Dex),
Move 40/120, Level 3 Specialist, 11hp, Scalpel 1d4, Saw 1d4.
Open Doors 2/6, Physik* 5/6, Search
3/6, Tinkering 3/6.
Leather robes, gloves, plague
mask, doctor’s bag (anti-venom (5), bandages, bottle of strong alcohol, surgical tools, soap, specialist’s
tools, various tinctures and ointments), wide-brimmed hat.
*New Skill: Roll the Physik skill for first aid, if the roll
succeeds the patient heals +1d3 hp, may only be used once per patient. Can
also be used to stabilize a dying character, or as a knowledge check for medicine or
human anatomy.
Friday, August 2, 2019
Medieval Torturer
Weather serving the Crown or theChurch, sometimes a specialist is called for, a specialist in Pain! Trained in
the methods of torture and skilled in the use of various instruments of pain,
from scalpels and razors to elaborate torture devices, each more diabolical
than the last, the torturer uses his knowledge of human anatomy to better
inflict pain on his subjects.
Armor 12, Move 40/120, Level 3
Specialist, 10hp, Scalpel 1d4.
Physik* 5/6, Tinkering 5/6.
*In our game we created the
Physik skill for first aid, if the roll succeeds the patient heals +1d3 hp. May
only be used once per patient, after that it’s in the “hands of God”. Can also be used to stabilize a dying
character, or just as knowledge of medicine or human anatomy.
The idea is that the torturer uses Physik and Tinkering in combination to inflict pain on subjects, not to kill them, but to extract confessions, information, or just for sick twisted pleasure. He can roll Tinkering to operate various torture devices and Physik to keep them alive.
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